


Self Loathing

by foxymonstrocity



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Fluff, I really don’t know what i’m doing, Underfell, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 08:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15636885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxymonstrocity/pseuds/foxymonstrocity
Summary: What do you do when you hate yourself?You honestly can’t stand the sight of yourself... even if you can’t see yourself cause, well, you’re a vampire.Of course the obvious answer is to punch a skeleton in the face for saying what you’ve been thinking, right?Right?





	Self Loathing

**Author's Note:**

> i’ve been reading a lot of vampire fics, watching Vampire Academy and had an idea a while ago to make this!   
> i dunno where it’ll go haha

Underground monsters had been happily accepted to the surface, much to their surprise. Though the eagerness was great, it’d been an unusual and awkward process, but now humans and monsters were coexisting wonderfully. Unground monsters, that is.

The hidden monsters of the surface world that’d been secretly living amongst humans were barely acknowledged as equals. Werewolves, shape shifters, banshees, trolls and the like weren’t as easily accepted.  
Honestly, no one was happier than you when the Underground monsters were freed! However that didn’t stop your still heart from twinging with a pang of jealousy. Was it not slightly unfair, hypocritical even? The humans blindly accepted the Underground monsters, without a second thought, but couldn’t possibly consider coexisting with the surface monsters? You had personally been around for the last 50 years and it was baffling- the ridiculous stereotypes they gave you surface monsters!

You managed to pull yourself out of bed as the last sliver of sunlight disappeared from your room. You stepped into the bathroom and splashed cold water on your face, not bothering to look up at the blank mirror in front of you. No matter how hard you wished, you’d only see the reflection of the rest of the bathroom behind you.  
You weren’t bitten into this, like the other handful of vampires that lived out of Europe. You actually lived there, clearly born into the status of a ‘pure blood’. Female vampires would give up their forms to creat a possible heir. The dangerous, undead fetus inside the female would soak up all their nutrients and eat them from the inside, out. A very gruesome, and deadly, beginning but your father swore he’d never seen a cuter baby. You would grow like a human until you reached the human age of 96, their average life span, then you would have every phase of a humans life and could morph your appearance to your leisure.  
You chose 25, though you were much older, you liked the way you looked around this age. How did you know? Well, despite popular belief, cameras could capture your existence.   
You were a very attractive vampire. Every vampire was unnecessarily egotistical because they were all fucking gorgeous! You didn’t want to act like that so you wouldn’t allow yourself to hear that you’re pretty. You’d accept the compliment out lout but tell yourself the opposite. This soon became an unhealthy habit of self loathing. Sometimes you cursed your mothers name for making you, though you knew it wasn’t her choice. Male vampires ruled over females, it was a very old and sexist way of thinking but who’s to tell a vampire to change? They’re stubborn creatures.   
You were lucky to get out when you did. Your father had arranged a marriage for you to Duchess Ivy, a gorgeous- gay- vampire who was next in line for the Court of Vampires. It was basically an old group of men who made decisions for all vampire-kind. At a certain point in their lives, vampires just gave ‘living’ up and turned to dust. Ivy was an idealist, rational yet absurd and wanted to flip the Court of Vampires upside down with new ideas! You commended her and wished her the best of luck but you simply couldn’t be her lover. She was sad, she’d actually chosen you personally- apparently her father was in awe of her ideas and gave her free realm, you envied that- but she was fair and wished you a fulfilling life. 

So far you’d had one.

You had traveled the world only to end up here at Mt Ebott, where all the monsters were integrating. The town at the base of the mountain was strangely big and lively, especially at night. The old lady renting out apartments was a vampire herself and happily gave you a room for a fair price. You could tell she was very old in vampire years, she’d mentioned she fell in love here and decided to live out the rest of her days like a human. Her husband was still alive but looking no younger than the lady. You found yourself smiling as they sat on the rocking chairs together on the front porch.  
Your neighbors hardly bothered you, working all day and sleeping all night. It was the best routine! Unfortunately, to keep up your ruse, you needed to work occasionally as well. Also the frequent interaction with people was nice. You’d managed to find one being you like over everyone else in this town. He was a skeleton and he was super annoying! You adored him! He wore a fluffy, red and black jacket over a darker red turtle neck- you asked him if he was cold but he just laughed at you. His basketball shorts were constantly dirty and he never tied his sneakers. His name was Sans, he’d tried to prank you when he first met you at your job. He smirked and held his hand out for you to shake. You happily accepted and slapped your hand right into his grip, where a sharp needle would be jammed into your palm. His smirk fell from his face the moment he realized you weren’t affected.  
Ever since that day the two of you had only grown closer, to think, his constant badgering of how you were so calm about being stabbed was the cause of it all. Speaking of the skeleton, he just texted. 

R: we still on for tonight?

R: u dont get a choice, its a yes

R: hurry your pale ass up

Yeah, you’d told Sans a while ago about you being a vampire. He’d caught on to your odd, self loathing quality and tried to stop it whenever he could. It especially freaked him out that whenever vampires wanted, they could just give up and vanish! Sans forced you to take care of yourself, he even switched his hours around so he could be a night owl with you. He used to be a night guard at the mall but changed to the daytime shifts about the same time you’d confessed what you were. His brother was suspicious at first but was soon more than happy to find he wasn’t “wasting” his day sleeping anymore.  
Sans kept you a secret from Boss. He was NOT supposed to be, in his brothers words, canoodling with humans. Monsters were quite suspicious of them still; Was no one else curios why humans were so eager to have monsters back? Regardless of whether or not you weren’t a human, you looked like one and that was bad enough.

Sans tapped his foot while he waited outside your apartment complex. He nervously pulled a drag from his cigarette, glancing around. His eye lights moved to the front door as your sweet aroma of coconut met the air. Sometimes the skeleton wondered why you smelled of the nutty fruit, something red would be much more fitting. Suddenly you dropped from the air, laughing hysterically as Sans swallowed his cigarette.

“Not.” Hack. “Funny!”

“Y-Yes it is!” You threw your head back, still laughing, which gave Sans a chance to look you over.

When he first met you, your outfits consisted of mainly long, dark dresses or suits. Since then your wardrobe was expanded drastically. Your black jeans were ripped in various places and so baggy you used a shoelace to hold them up- Sans offered you a real belt but you said “This is what the kids wear now!”, so he let it be. Underneath your jeans were fishnets, seen through the holes. You wore a long sleeved, red sweater that was ripped at the top to become strapless. It was one of Sans’ turtle necks, he was silently happy to see you constantly wore it. Lastly below your cuffed, black jeans were a pair of (f/c) vans that threw off the whole outfit. Sans couldn’t help but laugh at your shoes but when you self consciously asked what he was laughing at, he shut up. He hated moping girls as much as he next person but your little habit has him worried- more than usual.

“Nothin’. C’mon, the carnival won’t be open all night.” Sans said, grabbing your hand and taking his shortcut to the fair grounds.

Your eyes widened when you saw the event in front of you. You’d traveled with a circus before and this was similar but strictly games and rides all around. How could you have never seen something like this in person!?

Sans happily paid for a few games and lazily tried to win a prize or four. Somehow you ended up carrying them all but the smile on your face showed you were completely fine with it. A giant stuffed penguin, two toy frogs and a goldfish in a bag. You noticed children all staring at the prizes and slowly began to give them away, smiling more as their faces lit up. You tried to pull back the reigns on your smile, your fangs were too obvious but no one seemed to notice yet. Sans did but he didn’t really care, he was paying more attention to you handing out the prizes he won.

“Hey yer givin’ away all my stuff.” Sans teased.

“Oh please. Your room has more than enough junk, you need no more.” Your way of speaking always made Sans happy for some reason. He liked the way you were so formal, which was odd cause it kind of reminded him of his brother. Though your style may have changed and slowly you acted like the generation of humans your age, he liked that was the one thing that stuck with you. 

“Hey!” You pointed at a new game, “Look at that!”

Sans followed your finger to the strength testing game.

“Yeah, yeah, we know yer stronger than humans.” He waved his hand at you as if dismissing your ability.

“No! The prize!”

The top prize was either a stuffed skeleton with a red bow tie or a green alien with a black tie. It was the only game with a prize like it.

“I must obtain it!” You shouted, running over to the game.

Sans stomach dropped when he watched you go and saw his brother at the game, about to swing the mallet down.

You turned around with a big smile but it dropped when you noticed he wasn’t behind you anymore. You looked around a bit but couldn’t find the skeleton anywhere.

“Do you mind, human?”

You turned to see a taller skeleton holding a giant hammer in his grip. It clicked that this was probably the brother Sans didn’t want knowing about you. Before you could respond he started speaking again. 

“You are about to witness the power and strength that is mine, The Great and Terrible Papyrus!” He shouted as he swung the hammer down onto the platform. The meter went about halfway up, the skeleton scoffed and gave a horrified look to the game. Then he scowled at you,

“You have distracted me!”

“I have not!” You defended yourself. 

“As an apology you will embarrass yourself in front of this crowd of your kind!” He demanded.

You tried not to growl as you grabbed the hammer from him and extended your arm towards the “strong man”, giving him more than enough cash to play the game.  
You struck the platform and watched the meter go past Papyrus’ rank but still not quite hitting the top.

“Aha! You have failed.” The skeleton laughed, a few of the monsters with him chuckling as well. 

You glared at him but held your head high and turned to give the malet back to the human.

“Go ahead. Give it one more go.” He said with a smirk, clearly seeing your mark was higher than the skeletons’. 

You nervously gripped the hammer tighter and glanced around.

Sans watched from afar as you went to strike the game again. He didn’t have the heart to tell you he’d been cheating at these games all night, just about every single one of them was rigged.  
His eye glowed red as you struck the platform, he moved the marker up with magic to ring the bell.

Ding!

You began to laugh in disbelief as Papyrus became quiet.  
The strong man offered you the alien but you began to smirk as you shook your head and pointed to the stuffed skeleton.  
You said nothing more as you traded the hammer for your prize and walked away happily.  
You managed to find Sans a little ways away from that game, looking curiously at a corn dog. You held up the toy with a big smile as you jumped in a circle.

“Ya look happy.” He laughed.

“Indeed! This place is spectacular!”

“You gonna give that toy up, too?”

“Perish the thought! I won this on my own, it is mine to keep.” You snuggled your face into the stuffed skeletons.

“But you can give away all my crap?” Sans laughed more.

“You would not have appreciated it anyways.” You stuck your tongue out at his as he glared at the way you hugged the toy to your chest.

“Lucky bastard.”

“What was that?”

“I said I want some fuckin’ ice cream!”

After some ice cream and 3 more corn dogs for Sans, the carnival was coming to a close. Your stomach growled as you came closer to your apartment, insisting the two of you walk home to exercise the junk food he ate away. He was complaining the whole walk home but you kept laughing so he didn’t mind as much. Sans heard your stomach growl and threw you a genuine glare.

“When’s the last time ya ate?”

“A week ago... I believe.” You mumbled.

“Ya gotta stop doin’ that.” Sans glare turned to a look of worry.

“I will feed tonight.” You said with a sigh.

“Want some company?” He asked.

Sans came with you a few times to watch you eat. It intrigued and scared him at first but he’d come indifferent to it, he mainly came to make sure you didn’t get caught. You never killed anyone- not since you moved here- so no one was suspicious but you were still nervous.  
You politely accepted his offer and slowed your walking down, looking around for any lone humans. Normally a bit more time and care went into your hunting but when Sans was with you, the quicker it was over with the better. You could drink the color red from fruits or even animal blood to sustain you but it would only hold you over for so long. He brought you a full packet filled with the red liquid from a blood drive once, you knew he was comfortable with it. It’s just the thought of feeding in front of someone who wasn’t like you.  
A mile after you walked past your apartment, you saw a drunk human staggering home. You handed, more like tossed, the stuffed toy to Sans as you rushed to the human and pushed him into an alleyway. It wasn’t enough warning for Sans, nervous once he lost sight of you he ran towards the alley. You bit onto the humans shoulder and blocked out the noise as they cried out, making it sound rather sexual. Sans leaned against the wall around the corner, blushing at the sounds. You licked the wound clean and watched the holes heal themselves before you sat the human up and walked out of the alley.

“That was fast.” Sans commented. looking away from you.

You licked your teeth and lips clean and took your toy back from Sans. As his hand dropped from you pulling the toy from his hold, you grabbed it and held onto his bony hand. He blushed as he looked up at you and then stared at the ground as you two walked the mile journey back to your apartment. 

“Care to join me in a party of slumber?” You asked with hope in your voice.

“I-I should really get home. My brother..” He started. You’d invited him over countless times for a sleepover before he actually took you up on the offer. Then he would accidentally stay the night or find his way here when he was drunk. It wasn’t anything weird but he couldn’t help the blush on his cheekbones.

You tried not to look so disappointed as you let go of his hand, “I understand.”

“Rain check?” He smirked as you looked to the sky. 

“There is no- oh. Oh!” You began laughing. Sans always did that and you continuously fell for it. His puns and metaphors always made you laugh. 

“I’ll text ya in the mornin’.” Sans said, stuffing his hand back into his pocket.

“Goodnight Sans.” You dipped your head to him and he bowed back. 

“Your majesty.” He said before flashing away.

Your smile faded as you made your way back into your apartment. You really hated being alone. It was one of the things you could never get used to after you left Europe.  
You lied down on your bed after changing into a large, black t-shirt and white boxers with red hearts on them. You hugged your skeleton toy close and silently wished it would turn into the skeleton you held closer to your heart.

Oh Sans.

How he made all the bad thoughts go away. He made you smile, laugh and forget all your troubles. When you were with him you felt almost human! In better words, you felt... Alive.  
You could never understand the true notion of the word but you felt so close to it when you were with your friend. You were clearly smitten but it was one sided. Sure Sans would blush and flirt but nothing more than friendly teasing. Surely he would get bored with you if you entered a romance.

You were unsure of underground monsters and their romances but vampires were definitely different. You could apply to the Court of Vampires for a courtship but it only lasted 4 years. If you decided to renew it, you could but for beings that lived decades eventually you moved on. The arranged marriage your father made would’ve been different. You would solely belong to Duchess Ivy. Normally those relationships turned cold and bitter. One or the other would eventually cheat but it would be known by both parties and you would have to make social appearances to keep up the lie that you were a happy couple.  
You’d personally never been in a relationship. Crushes came and went, your courting phase was fun but never lasted. Most vampires you went on dates with were just as young as you were and neither of you were looking to settle down. You started to wonder about monster relationships. Had Sans been in one before? You quickly waved away the idea, it made your jealous. 

Jealousy of a vampire was extremely dangerous.

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah, i really don’t know what i’m doing but i’d love it if my little muffins (you) would give me some prompts? requests if you will, whatever you’d like to see!
> 
> i might have an idea of where to go with this but filler stories are always fun ;3


End file.
